Spiritual Brokenness
Spiritual brokenness and brokenness of soul are two very different things. Spiritual brokenness is an indication of surrender to God’s control over our lives. By brokenness in this situation we are referring to our emotional wounds. 7 steps to healing emotional wounds is your pathway to freedom and wholeness.
1. Break out of Denial
When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. Psalms 32:3 What you’re after is truth from the inside out. Psalms 51:6(MSG)
Denial is a consequence of emotional shock which deadens our emotions and prevents us from feeling the full impact of the painful experience. We feel numb and are unable to recognize the amount to which we have been hurt. We need to examine our wound by reflecting on the details of the traumatic incident.
We may find the pain of acknowledging the source of the wound too painful to look at, so we choose to bury it and pretend it didn’t happen. It feels safer to keep the secret than to face the truth.
People who bury their emotions are afraid that if they allow their feelings to surface they will lose control. They are terrified of the dam of emotion bursting open and swallowing them alive. What if they become so broken they never recover? 
Yet harmful emotions once buried, never die. They ferment, become more potent, more harmful and explosive. Like harmful chemicals buried near a water supply seep into the drinking water and poison those who drink it – buried emotional pain seeps into our everyday lives contaminating all our relationships.
The first step toward emotional healing is to shake off denial by talking about the traumatic event with someone we trust.
When someone has a car accident, they usually have to tell the details of what happened to several people before they are able to put it behind them. Talking about our distressing experience helps us deal with it. As I began to share my story, my roller coaster of emotions gradually began to level out.
2. Own your Brokenness
“Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. I have become like broken pottery for I hear the slander of many; there terror on every side.” Psalms 31:9-13
The second step to healing our brokenness is owning our brokenness. It is essential that we allow ourselves to feel the pain caused by the incident. If we are to heal, we need to acknowledge the affect the traumatic event had on us.
Time does not heal all wounds. In fact, time often causes the wound to move deeper. The full destruction of the sin against us must be faced, felt and expressed before true healing can take place.
Psalms 62:7&8 instructs us to pour out our hearts to our Heavenly Father.
My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
Along with counselling where I walked through my memories of painful experiences, I spent much of my time journaling my emotions and pouring out my heart to my Heavenly Father.
3. Receive God's Love
Our lack of knowledge of our Heavenly Father affects our emotional and mental health. If we have a faulty spiritual belief system we will short circuit our relationship with our Heavenly Father. If we do not have a healthy understanding of who God is, and who we are as His child we will not be able to trust the love of our Heavenly Father.
My healing journey involved committing myself to meditating daily, for several years, on Scriptures of God’s love for me. It was very comforting for me to discover Scriptures which told me how God felt about my anguish.
But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction. He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction. Job 36:16
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3
As a [loving] mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted. Isaiah 66:13
As I meditated out loud daily on these and other Scriptures, God’s love slowly began to break through my emotional pain.
4. Give Up False Loyalties
If the offender is a parent or someone you love, you may feel a fierce need to protect the person. One of the family rules may have been, “What happens at home stays at home”.
By breaking the silence, the wounded person feels a deep sense of betrayal and guilt. However, if the offender is never acknowledged, or assigned appropriate blame, healing is not achieved. By not acknowledging the guilty party, the wounded person carries around shame that rightfully belongs to the offender. As a result, anger is often reflected onto innocent individuals.
How he or she responds to the hurt is the responsibility of the wounded person. Does he lash out at others? Does he manipulate and control? Does she act out her pain in rebellion? Does she get angry with God?
Counselling and studying books on the topic of my concerns helped me take ownership of what was my responsibility and assign appropriate blame to the offending party.
5. Reject False Beliefs
False Belief # One:
It was my fault. I must have done something to deserve it. I should have stopped it. No one will believe me if I do tell them. I am worthless, helpless, and hopeless.
But God desires that we believe the truth about ourselves. We need to reject the lies and replace them with truth.
Most people, who were victims of neglect or abuse as children, whether verbally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, or sexually, blame themselves. But no one is ever responsible for another person’s behaviour especially when it comes to an adult /child relationship.
False Belief # Two:
Good Christians don’t get angry.
Anger is not a sin; it is an emotion, but how we express our anger can be sinful. If we punch or hit someone in anger, it is sin. If we verbally lash out at someone in anger, we have sinned. If we gossip about the offender, we have sinned.
If we pretend we are not angry, we are being deceitful. God desires truth in our most inward being. If we bury our anger, pretending all is well, it will resurface as depression, fear, anxiety, obsessive compulsive behaviours, or we will explode over the simplest infraction.
The Bible gives us permission to be angry in Ephesians 4:26
In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
We are to deal with our anger quickly in an appropriate manner so that it doesn’t become bitterness. It would be appropriate to tell the offending person calmly, that what he or she did makes you angry.
As I searched for truth, Jesus began to shed light on my wounds.
“When you know the truth, the truth will set you free”. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:32&36
6. Give and Receive Forgiveness
Give and Receive Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a major and necessary step to healing. Forgiving our offender is giving up our right to demand retribution. By forgiving the one who hurt me, I am not saying what he did was okay. Nor am I saying I am over the emotional pain. Forgiveness simply means I am willing to live with the consequences of his sin against me. I let him off my hook, but he is still answerable to God.
Forgiveness sets us free to move through the healing process and continue to grow as a person. Forgiveness is the key to healing for all emotional wounds.
7. Trust God's Redemptive Plan
Isaiah 61:1-3 gives a prophesy of Jesus
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners… to comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
God is so compassionate toward broken-hearted individuals that He promises to heal us and then make something amazing out of our lives. I hope these 7 steps to healing our emotional wounds will help you discover the wholeness and freedom you are looking for.
The poor, the broken-hearted, the captives, the prisoners, and the mourners will be called “Oaks of Righteousness”. They will become strong, beautiful, useful masterpieces of the Lord for the purpose of displaying His glory.
Psalms 40:1-3 is a beautiful picture of God’s redemptive work.
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.
Psalms 40:1-3
No pit is so deep that God can’t reach down and lift us up out of the mire. He cleanses us, heals us and redeems us through the death and resurrection of His Son.
My Books
Check out my books. We offer both paperback and Kindle versions.
Are You Lonely? You Are Not Alone.
My Books Exactly What is Loneliness? Loneliness is the emotional condition of experiencing intense feelings of emptiness and isolation, coupled with an intense desire to
7 Steps to Healing Our Emotional Wounds
My Books Spiritual Brokenness Spiritual brokenness and brokenness of soul are two very different things. Spiritual brokenness is an indication of surrender to God’s control
How Should a Husband Love His Wife
My Books Why God Made Eve from Adam’s Side Picture with me for a moment how this scene unfolds. Adam is lying on the ground