There's a Better Way To Live

Complete Forgiveness, a Life Changing Experience

Forgiveness Promotes Life

Complete forgiveness a life changing experience promotes life. We need to give and receive forgiveness on many levels 

There is—

  • God’s forgiveness of our sins
  • Forgiveness of ourselves
  • from our present offenses
  • Forgiveness of hurts from years gone by
  • And forgiveness of childhood wounds that have on-going consequences in our present-day lives.

Forgiveness promotes life, while bitterness destroys relationships. Resentment keeps you chained.Com

A Sense That Someone Owes Me Something

  • You owe me an apology.
  • You owe me big time.
  • She owes me her life.
  • He is going to pay for this.
  • I deserve revenge.

Anger keeps you chained to the one who hurt you. Revenge may seem sweet for the moment, but it destroys your future. On the other hand, forgiveness gives life to your potential.

Emotion Pain is Unavoidable

You can’t live in a broken world without eventually being marred by brokenness on a personal level. All of us to a greater or lesser degree are carrying around wounds or scars in various stages of healing. How you deal with the hurt will define the rest of your life.

Your past may have been beyond your control, but you can choose to change the direction of your future. In other words, your history does not need to predict your future. God is a God of second chances. He has the power to heal the brokenness and relationships.

God can heal your broken heart, but you must give Him all the pieces. You must be willing to forgive. Although exceedingly difficult, forgiveness is essential to emotional healing. Forgiveness gives life to your brokenness.

The High Cost of Unforgiveness

Complete forgiveness is a life changing experience.Old emotional wounds affect our present mental health, thoughts, attitudes, behaviors, and relationships. They influence our choice of a marriage partner and our relationship with God.

Triggers of past emotional pain are often the root causes of many of our present misunderstandings. Repeatedly, we get offended when there was no harm intended. We view our present interactions through the dark lenses of old pain. Refusing to forgive past injuries sets us up for more anguish in our present relationships.

The Effect on Our Families

Son Chooses Father and Chooses FamilyUnforgiveness of old emotional wounds is what destroys marriages and parenting abilities. When we get offended, the first weapon we often turn to is our tongue. It is powerful and knows how to hit its mark.

James 3:6 makes it very clear.

The tongue also is a fire,

a world of evil among the parts of the body.

It corrupts the whole body,

sets the whole course of one’s life on fire,

and is itself set on fire by hell.

The tongue sets the whole course of one’s life.

Your words have power. You can speak life into a loved one, or you can speak death. Once the words are out of your mouth, you can never take them back. There is no delete button that makes it as though they were never spoken. Marriages and children are destroyed by the messages they hear coming from the mouth of the one who should love them most. Proverbs18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death…”

Ask yourself, “Who am I really hurting, when I choose not to forgive?”

Complete Forgiveness a life Changing Experience

Your words also have power in your own life. What you say to yourself or about yourself greatly impacts your ability to succeed. Negative self-talk serves only to drag the individual deeper into the pit of destruction.

How often do you hear the words, “I’m sick and tired of this situation” or “I’ll never get out of this mess”, or “if anything bad can happen, it will happen to me”.

Broken people pour out self-abuse; calling themselves stupid, worthless, and multiple other damaging labels. They go around speaking lies and curses to themselves, then wonder why God isn’t blessing them and their relationships with others.

Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV) expounds on this teaching. For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

You eventually become what you meditate on. If you meditate on, sickness, failures, past wounds, or anger, you will most likely get sick, fail repeated, miss out on life, or be eaten alive by your own bitterness.

The cost of forgiveness is high, but the payback of unforgiveness is even higher. We will never reach our full potential spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, intellectually, or productively, while we are enslaved by our bitterness. Bitterness destroys, but forgiveness promotes life.

Unforgiveness Affects All Relationships

How do you know if unforgiveness is interfering with your daily relationships?

Do you find you keep running into people who irritate you; people you just don’t like or can’t work with; people who always seem to bring out the worst in you?

Until we have healed and have forgiven our offender, we will continually encounter individuals who remind us of someone who has hurt us in the past. We will most likely have difficulty getting along with other individuals with the same personality traits as the one who previously hurt us.

Intense emotions will constantly be triggered by present situations, that parallel the old wound. We will find ourselves reliving the pain of past hurts repeatedly.

You can be sure that no matter how many times you change jobs, acquaintances, or home address, you will end up having to relate to the same kind of personality in another situation and relationships.

He or she will have a different name, a different face, and a different shape, but the same character traits.


Forgiveness Grows Stronger RelationshipsSuppose you bang your toe on something and bruise it very badly. Then someone comes up to you and bumps it. They don’t know you have a sore toe. They just want to talk to you. But you immediately yell at them and push them away. People keep bumping your toe and you get angrier with each incident. Yet these people don’t understand what your problem is.

Now let’s put this illustration into the emotional realm. You have a sore spot that was caused by a childhood painful experience. But people don’t know you have a sore spot, so they keep pocking it, not realizing they are hurting you. So, you get angry and yell at them and perhaps push them away. This scenario happens repeatedly until you gather the courage to get help to heal the old wound and choose to forgive.

Forgiving previous offenders sets you free to live your life and enjoy your present relationships, without being overshadowed by old messages, memories, and emotions. Remember forgiveness promotes life gives life to your relationships.

Your Relationship With God

How do you know if unforgiveness is hindering your relationship with God?

Have you ever tried to pray when you are angry? What happens?

  • Your words seem to bounce off the ceiling, right?
  • Your worship falls flat.
  • You get convicted with every Scripture you read.
  • Bitterness leaves a door open for Satan to interfere in our lives, whether it be through health issues or in powerful temptations.
  • Unforgiveness puts a wall between you and God. He seems distant.
  • You try to work on your next sermon or project and find you can’t get your thoughts together.
  • Whatever you manage to accomplish comes from your natural ability rather than the Spirit working through you.

Refusing to forgive someone who has hurt us, greatly affects our fellowship with our Heavenly Father. Jesus has already forgiven us of so much more. Jesus shed His blood so that our sins can be forgiven. So it is an insult to the blood of Jesus when we refuse to extend that same mercy to others. Unforgiveness stunts spiritual growth, but forgiveness promotes life in your spiritual experience.

Jesus wants to purify us from the sins of others against us. Think about that for a second.  Jesus wants to cleanse us from all the sins of others against us. But He can’t do it unless we are willing to forgive.

1 John 1:9 (NIV) explains why. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

When we acknowledge our sins and ask for forgiveness, Jesus first forgives us, and then He cleanses us. So, we must also first acknowledge our hurt and forgive our offender, then God can cleanse our wounds. When we forgive, He will purify us from the effect of the offender’s sins on our lives. Forgiveness promotes life to our brokenness.

Jesus wants to wash your wound, with His own blood, apply healing ointment, and wrap it in His love. He wants us to throw off all the weights that keep us dragged down and prevent us from feeling His presence.

Forgiving your offender sets you free from Satan’s trap of bitterness and loosens his foothold in your life.

Forgiveness Promotes Life

Forgiveness is the evidence of God at work in our lives.

We are never more like our Heavenly Father than when we FORGIVE someone who could never repay us for the mountain of emotional pain he or she has caused.

We are never more blessed than when we GIVE mercy to someone who has hurt us deeply.

Setting our offender free, we find freedom for ourselves.

When we do not forgive it keeps us bound to our past, but forgiveness gives us a new beginning. Unforgiveness destroys your life, but forgiveness gives you new hope.

Not forgiving poisons your interactions with others, but forgiveness sets you free to enjoy all your relationships without being overshadowed by old emotional baggage. Forgiveness gives life to your emotions, memories, and self-messages. Remember forgiveness promotes life and gives new hope to your experiences.

My Books

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Complete Forgiveness, a Life Changing Experience